My favorite TV show’s about vampires in love / Yeah, it’s as good as it sounds / I just got back from a long vacation in a run-down third world land / And I put on about 15 pounds // I wish my taste was better / I wish my culture was more refined / I wish I didn't know who all the people on the cover of People Magazine were, but // CHORUS // I get all my news from the pages of TV Guide / And I prefer all of my vegetables deep fried / I have aspirations to greatness, but ambitions tied to the couch / Every day I thank God above I live in America // I know all of the players on the NY Jets, but I don't know the family next door / But just like me, I’m sure they watch TV all night / I've got a bunch of opinions that I read somewhere or maybe heard on the nightly news / I only remember the sound of the sound bite // I've never read a book by Jean-Paul Sartre, but I've seen all six Star Wars films / And while I don’t know much, I know Han shot first, I’m full of so much trivia, my head might burst, but // CHORUS // Deep inside I think I'm better / Than all the other people that I know / Cause my opinions get validated / By my choice of TV show / My Country tis of me, My Country tis of me, My Country tis of me // CHORUS

I can't hear where I am / Over the din of your emotion / I am your sacrificial lamb / Moving in slow motion // I can be what we need me to be / Please just show me where to go // CHORUS // We're in Violent Agreement / Saying the same thing / We're in Violent Agreement / And I am the empty king // There has to be a better way / My cup is running over / But we live to fight another day / And another hangover // I can be what we need me to be / Please just show me where to go // CHORUS // Help me stop the bleeding, this dream will never end / And though my eyes are open, I will still pretend / Help me stop the bleeding / Please help me stop the bleeding / Please help me stop the bleeding now // I can be what we need me to be / Please just show me where to go // CHORUS

I'm having a consistent problem with handling reality / Nothing seems to make any sense I'm plagued by irrationality // But there's a way to make the world seem like a bright and shiny place / Down at the pharmacy they have the panacea that'll get me back in the chase // CHORUS // My doctor told me to up my dosage / And now my whole life seems so clear / No more of my downward spirals / More medication has brought me here // I wonder if I really feel this way or if it's just some chemical reaction / It raises questions of how I interpret these emotional infractions // When I talk to you I wonder whether you can really hear / my voice or the sound of the person who I've engineered // CHORUS // I've got my house surrounded / I know I'm in there / Come out with both my hands up // And don't make me come in and get me / don't make me come in and get me / don't make me come in and get me // I've got a lot of time to over-intellectualize my inner conversations // It seems my pharmaceutical solutions come with built-in rationalizations // CHORUS.

Chilling on a park bench with Perfection is a fella by the name of Okay / Satisfaction smiles on the sidewalk since Misery departed yesterday / The sun sets over the horizon, Perfection packs his bags up for the night / Darkness makes his way up to the park bench, And suddenly Okay is not alright // CHORUS // It’s a Utopian thought in a Utopian mind / In a god damn Utopian town / But Utopia shows that Utopia knows / Utopia’s not how it sounds // Confusion comes to visit in the morning, Satisfaction don't pass by and wave / Loneliness has spread out on the park bench / Optimism slowly digs his grave / Motivation staples fliers to the phone pole / Happiness has gone away somewhere / Pessimism says there's no use in looking / And Apathy just doesn’t really care // CHORUS // And isn’t it a nice day to sit in the park watching everything turning dark / And isn’t it a great day to sit in the park watching everyone turning dark // CHORUS // Emptiness has now consumed the park bench / A view that No One sees, where No One does / Wisdom shakes his head at Expectation / For he knows Perfection never was // CHORUS

Well I'm a twelfth-level Elven Cleric from the planet Cybertron / (I know that's kinda mixing metaphors a little bit, but I think to think of it as two great tastes that taste great together) / I could always pick the Cylons back when Battlestar Galatica was on / (Seriously, I had three of the Final Five picked out by the end of Season 2, I just have a nose for these things.) // I travel with a towel and I know how to use it / If I'm tracked by a bounty hunter I know how to lose em thank to Han // Science Fiction is affecting my fantasies / I'm lying in bed with 23 Hermiones / I know there is a great world out there for me to see / But I prefer the one on my TV // My hentai collection is bordering on scary now / (You wouldn't believe the kind of stuff you can get for free online, I mean it's not all interesting or good, but Wow!) / I'm wondering why there aren't more movies out starring John Lithgow / (Really, have you guys SEEN Buckaroo Banzai in a long time, they simply do not make stuff like that anymore) // I can have a cogent argument about my favorite Doctor Who / Though I know I may be having it alone and not with you // Science Fiction is affecting my fantasies /I'm lying in bed with Agents Mulder and Scully / I know there is a great world out there for me to see / But I prefer the one on my TV // I wanna make love to you on the TARDIS / I wanna ride the sandworms on Arrakis / I'm like an even-numbered Star Trek film you can't miss / Cause James T. Kirk's got nothing on me, baby // (Hey look, a theremin!) // I hear that next fall there may be a new Joss Whedon show / (I mean really, can the man do any wrong? They may all get cancelled, but I frickin' love Dr Horrible!) / But there's nothing better out there on cable than Game of Thrones / (Dragons, incest, magic, Peter Dinklage ... I swear, this show has everything!) // Used to have a lot of friends but I decided I don't need ‘em / Got my whole life ahead of me though the next season / And Lost may not have made a lot of sense but neither did you / and it won't tell me what to do // Science Fiction is affecting my fantasies / I'm lying in bed with a model of Serenity / I know there is a great world out there for me to see / But I prefer the one on my TV / It’s better on my TV.

Lady Fortune isn't always fair / And you expanded far beyond what the market could bear / Now we're the new player in town / Acquiring your company / You're part of our brand new empire / Integrating in harmony // CHORUS // You work for Global Mega Omni Corp / The economic authority / We have a strong profit report / And sell our products affordably // We make dishwashers, printers, and fancy shampoos / We also run a whole media empire to proliferate our views / But the rumors we're a shadow government are categorically untrue / We have a loftier set of goals that we're trying to pursue // CHORUS // You're owned by Global Mega Omni Corp / The economic authority / We own every judge in every court / Domination's our priority // There are no other options for employment in your town / We bought all of the competition and shut them down / Don't ever dream of leaving the company / You're ours till the day you die, that we can guarantee // CHORUS // We're the modern ecumenical Nation-State / The World marvels at the false realities our engineers create / And you're a vital cog in the New World Order we provide / A convergent corporate dominion over anything that you can buy // CHORUS

Today in the reports from Wall Street, another big day for the markets with early estimates in from many of the sector leaders, it appears to be a bang up day, and I really mean a bang up day, as the editors for Money, Fortune and Inebriated Donkey Fuckers of America report that there's only one way this day and go and that's up up up your ass like a goddamned bottle rocket of cold hard market capitalization, and you know just what the fuck I'm talking about you merchant captain of accountancy, ha-ha ya get it, like sea, like the ocean, shut the fuck up, back to the report, it really looks like the offshore investments we talked about last week may have tanked, but that's fine, cause we shorted them, which is really the only goddamned thing we can recommend in times like these as we start to wonder why some dumbass pension manager in Dusseldorf decided bottom tier re-rated sub-sub-subprime traches made sense for the little sons of bitch Hans-and-Gretel’s over there eating up their wieners and schnitzels, but back over in the Asian markets things are looking a whole lot fucking better as 1.3 billion assholes with a coal-burning fetish and an annoying tendency to outperform the US dollar on an inflation-adjusted basis insist on once again on trying to prove that the almighty Invisible Hand of Capitalism is the not the one and only true god // CHORUS // Another 90 minute drive to work, Another report filed Another ticket with no destination, 'cept White Collar Suicide // Back in the domestic markets, things are looking, well I'm not going to sugar coat it for you assholes, things are more or less in the shitter if you drive anything below, let's say a Lexus, but if you've ever casually chartered a Cessna to take that fucking kid of yours to summer camp or some shit like that, chances are you aren't hurting too bad right now. There's a whole lot of joy in Mudville whether or not Casey strikes out, since the commodity market can't seem to make heads or tails of what the fuck is going on and the asshole regulators still can't figure out what they hell they're going to regulate. Did you know know that if you mix orange juice and gasoline you can get a pretty reasonable facsimile of napalm? Also in the Crop reports today, soy beans are going absolutely apeshit, which may have mattered twenty-five years ago before traders traded anything other than strange derivative products that are really just meaningless repackagings of some other weird shit that you don't understand. I mean thanks to the AIG motherfuckers, any asshole know what a collateralized debt obligation is, but really, can you tell me what the fuck an credit default swap is supposed to accomplish? Frankly as long as you're able to get the edge of your heel pushing out on the chair when you kick it out from under you, the ergonomic motherfucker should slide far enough away that you won't have a chance to reach for it if the survival instinct kicks in while you're swinging from the goddamned noose above your cubicle // CHORUS // That's right assholes, its raining blood and raining bodies whether you're in Canary Wharf, Wall & Broad, or any of the other dying financial centers dotting this shithole planet. After the first wave, cutting your wrists or jumping off a bridge quickly became passe, but in the second round we started to see some ambitious undertakings like self-immolation, Russian Roulette parties and even the sporadic bout of seppuku. One of the top CEOs superglued his own asshole shut and went on an eating binge until he exploded from the pure volume of his own rank shit. The moral here is that there is more than one goddamned way to skin a cat, and in this lesson you're the fucking cat // CHORUS // They say only the good die young, but I can tell you right now that's a fucking joke. With enough of a push, we all die young, and ladies and gentlemen, I'm here to give you that push. Just look out your windows and tell me what you see as you button your collar and straighten that tie and wonder for the last time why your fucking uniform comes with built-in leash as you wander, not haphazardly mind you, into the path of the nearest oncoming sport utility vehicle on your cul de sac, tap the heels of your Florshiems together and repeat along with me "There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home"

Flying under the radar / Falling over your feet / Fighting all your potential / Embracing defeat // CHORUS // It isn't that the world's against you / That no one's answering your prayers / The truth is even uglier / The world just doesn't really care // Building up your silence / Letting no one in / Lowered expectations / Follow every tailspin // CHORUS // What's your place? / What can you offer? / Is there space for you anywhere? // Desperate cries for attention / A captive audience / Seeking validation / Stopping making sense // CHORUS

I am your philosophy / I tell you where to go / I am in all you breathe / I am not what you know // CHORUS // I can feed you in your time / I will keep you in good form / I can guide you when you need / To divide the storm // You are a demi-god / You swim in lakes of gold / You fall among the trees / And you are forever old // CHORUS // There are no truths in here / No absolution in the fight / But maybe there is something good out there / Hidden in the light // CHORUS

I can grow a beard in half a week flat / I suppose that makes me a man / But there's so much more that I'm trying to be / So much more to the plan / I always wanted to conquer the world / I don't mean that figuratively / I really mean I want to command a global army / And rule over all that I see // CHORUS // I am a genius of unspeakable evil / and I will rule over you / I am a genius of unspeakable evil / and I will rule the world // The fortunate will know my mercy / Others will only despair / Women will be summoned from across the world / And beg to carry my heir / I will make my enemies battle / In knife fights to the death / And my name will be known the whole world over / On every dying breath // CHORUS // My whole plan is laid out for me / I wonder what is happening / My minions haven't followed any directions / I don't think they are listening / How am I supposed to rule the world / Without a loyal army of disposable thugs? / I'm still sitting in my room with my dreams unrealized / Trying to find an outlet for my love // CHORUS // Yes, I will rule the world / Surely, I will rule the world.

I see the hole in your dream / I see the great beyond ripping at its seam // There is no silence / There is no fear / Only what you bring to the table / And that which you revere // CHORUS // I will rain down fire upon you / Cleanse before I choose to condemn / Open all eyes to love and despair / Witness the prelude to Awakening Bethlehem // I'll debate whether sin is a virtue / I'll understand the beauty you pretend to hide inside // There is no comprehension / There is no sacrifice / There is no sign pointing a way to paradise // CHORUS.

Looks like you know where you are headed / No more surprises up your sleeve / The future is no longer dreaded / And I am sorry for you / There is truth in uncertainty / Meaning in the winding of the wind / Being static is no way to be / And I am sorry for you // CHORUS // No more time to discover yourself / Time to realize what you'll never have // You never meant that much to me / Ok, maybe that's a lie / But I am still sorry for you / I wear this hairshirt, you wear a crown of thorns / Both forced metaphors of heartache and scorn / All engineered to make me feel / Sorry for you // CHORUS.

Shouting unheard from the cradle to the grave / Living unknowing as a modern day slave / Thought they could tame you and it seems they were right / Standing there staring like a deer in the headlights // CHORUS // You won't take a stand and / They won't lend a hand until / You stumble to some place new / Can't count on anything except that / We live in the United States of Fuck You // Subtle rebellions are squashed before they start / Reduce your existence to a sliver on pie chart / Push all you can, but you'll never really know / What they have in store for you until you feel the death blow // CHORUS // Sixty years of servitude before the Holy Flag / You paid all your taxes, got your name stamped on a dog tag / Count your rewards and you're forced to admit / It only adds up to a pile of steaming shit // CHORUS.

One heart it takes to love / One heart it takes to be loved / I know you could bring me the love I need / Together forever, that we've agreed // CHORUS // And I love you more than anyone I know / Seems Cupid shot me with his bow // It takes one heart to be loved / It takes one heart to love / It takes one heart to be a love hero / Your hate meter is registering zero // CHORUS // I love you thru any love obstacle / I eat your love like a popsicle // CHORUS // It takes you to love me / It takes me to love you / CHORUS